James Hoskin's

The Rules:

Gather friends (if applicable) around the television. Place alcoholic drinks within easy reach. Watch "The Simpsons" drinking when instructed to by the following rules. In case of confusion over whether or not to drink, always err on the side of drinking. Enjoy!

Take a sip if:

• Bart says Ay Carumba.
• Bart mumbles angrily.
• Bart mis-behaves at school.
• Lisa mentions humanity.
• Homer says D'oh.
• Homer says Woo Hoo!
• Homer says Mmmmmm followed by something (e.g. Mmmmm 64 slices of American cheese).
• Homer yells BART.
• Homer refers to Bart as the boy.
• Homer strangles Bart.
• Marge says Hmmm.
• Maggie falls over.
• Grampa complains about something.
• Grampa falls asleep.
• Barney burps.
• Flanders says any flanderised word (e.g. Hi-de-li-ho).
• Patty and/or Selma insult Homer.
• Milhouse says Ahhh B-bart.
• Mr Burns says Excellent.
• Mr Burns says Simpson Eh?.
• Nelson says Ha Haa.
• Otto says dude.
• Smithers says Sector 7G.
• An Itchy and Scratchy cartoon comes on.
• Everyone inside Moe's is drinking.
• Any Krusty product is mentioned.
• A guest, staring as themselves, shows up.

Take a gulp if:

• Bart rides his skateboard.
• Lisa uses a word you don't understand, or says a fact you did not know.
• Lisa plays the saxaphone.
• Homer is asleep on the job.
• Homer does or says something that makes him a bad parent.
• Homer's mind and mouth have a conversation.
• Homer drools or makes that gargling sound.
• Homer eats a donut.
• Homer eats any non-food product.
• Homer yells at Lisa.
• Bart makes a prank phone call to Moe's.
• A McBain movie is shown.
• Grampa has a medical emergency, then instantly recovers.
• Grampa writes a letter of complaint.
• Reverend Lovjoy does something inappropriate for a reverend.
• Dr Hibbert displays his poor bedside manner.
• Chief Wiggum starts a sentance with That's nice and ends it with boys (e.g. thats nice flutin' boys).
• Flanders calls reverend Lovejoy.
• Kent Brockman says something a real reporter would not do, on air.
• Krusty does something totally inappropriate.
• Mr Burns tries something physical and fails.
• Principle Skinner mentions his mother.
• Sideshow Mel says anything.
• Troy McClure tells us where we might remember him from.
• Either Itchy or Scratchy dies.
• A reference is made to a movie/book/television show, and you do not know what the reference is.
• A guest star, staring as themselves, say something stupid, or are the butt of their own joke.
• Any character praises television.
• Any character is attacked by an animal.

Chug your entire drink if:

• Bart actually does his homework.
• Maggie demonstrates outstanding intelligence.
• Homer says something intelligent.
• Something happens to Marge's hair.
• Any member of the Simpson household is shown not wearing their usual clothing (pyjamas do not count).
• Smithers fanticises about Mr Burns, or hints that he may be homosexual.
• Any president of the United States is shown.
• The Androids Dungeon and Baseball Card shop is shown.

Drink everything in sight if:

• Maggie says something.
• Bart is on his best behaviour for a whole show.

Disclaimer:

This is a game. This is only a game. The game might get a little hectic at times and no responsibility is taken for hospitalisation of any players. If drinking alcohol (I personally recommend this), do not drive. Do not operate heavy machinery. Do not pass go. Do not collect £200.