James Hoskin's

choose-a-urinal game

  
 

Pop quiz hotshot: You need to use a urinal ... You open the door and see other men in there ... Where do you stand? ... Where do you stand?

In each of the six games you should base your decision on age-old urinal etiquette. Men should pass all six, or be prepared to relinquish their title of being a man.

Game 1:

empty in use empty in use empty empty
1 2 3 4 5 6

Game 2:

in use empty empty empty empty empty
1 2 3 4 5 6

Game 3:

empty empty empty empty empty empty
1 2 3 4 5 6

Game 4:

empty in use empty in use empty in use
1 2 3 4 5 6

Game 5:

empty in use empty empty in use in use
1 2 3 4 5 6

Game 6:

in use empty in use in use empty in use
1 2 3 4 5 6

More Urinal Etiquette:

  • NO talking, unless it's a good friend - even then it's just a grunt to acknowledge him.
  • Absolutley NO touching. Even if you touch another guy's elbow, it's a criminal offence.
  • NO singing. Period.
  • NO looking. A glace (eye-to-eye) for acknowledgement is allowed.
  • Aim IN the urinal. You know what I mean.

Yet more wise words ...

  • If you sprinkle, when you tinkle, be a sweetie, and wipe the seatie.
  • If your hose is too short, or your pump is too weak, you had better stand close, or you'll piss on your feet.
  • Flush twice, it's a long way to the cafeteria.
  • I think, therefore I aim.
  • If it's yellow - let it mellow. If it's brown - flush it down.
  • (above a toilet paper roll): Cambridge Diplomas, take one.
  • Any asshole can piss on the floor: Be a hero and shit on the ceiling.

  

  
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