James Hoskin's

What is a Cat?

• Cats do what they want.
• They rarely listen to you.
• They're totally unpredictable.
• When you want to play, they want to be alone.
• When you want to be alone, they want to play.
• They expect you to cater to their every whim.
• They're moody.
• They leave hair everywhere.

Conclusion: They're tiny women in little fur coats.

What is a Dog?

• Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
• They can hear a package of food opening half a mile away, but don't hear you when you're in the same room.
• They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
• They growl when they are not happy.
• When you want to play, they want to play.
• When you want to be alone, they want to play.
• They leave their toys everywhere.
• They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.
• They go right for your crotch as soon as they meet you.

Conclusion: They're tiny men in little fur coats.