James Hoskin's
foreign sign translations
These are genuine signs found hanging around the world.
| WHERE FOUND | SIGN |
|---|---|
| an airline office in Copenhagen | We take your bags and send them in all directions. |
| a hotel in Acapulco | The manager has personally passed all the water served here. |
| a Moscow hotel room | If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it. |
| a Bangkok dry cleaners | Drop your trousers here for best results. |
| a hotel in Zurich | Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose. |
| a doctor's office in Rome | Specialist in women and other diseases. |
| a Bangkok temple | It is forbidden to enter a woman, even a foreigner if dressed as a man. |
| a men's washroom in Finland | To stop the drip, turn cock to right. |
| the menu in a Swiss restaurant | Our wines leave you nothing to hope for. |
| a Japanese hotel | You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. |
| a hotel in Vienna | In case of fire, please alarm the porter. |
| a laundry in Rome | Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time. |
| the window of a furriers in Sweden | Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin. |
| a zoo in Budapest | Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty. |
| a hotel lobby in Bucharest | The elevator is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable. |
| an elevator in Leipzig | Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up. |
| a elevator in Paris | Please leave your values at the front desk. |
| a hotel in Athens | Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 am daily. |
| a hotel in Yugoslavia | The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid. |
| a supermarket in Hong Kong | For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service. |
| outside a dress shop in Paris | Dresses for street walking. |
| a tailors in Rhodes | Order your summers suit. Because is big rush, we will execute customers in strict rotation. |
| a camp site in Germany | It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for this purpose. |
| outside a dress shop in Hong Kong | Ladies have fits upstairs. |
| a tourist agency in Czecholslovakia | Take one of our horse-driven city tours. We guarantee no miscarriages. |
| a donkey ride stall in Thailand | Would you like to ride on your own ass. |
| a clockwork toy box in Hong Kong | Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life. |
| a detour sign in Japan | Stop. Drive sideways. |
| a bar in Tokyo | Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts. |
| a hotel room in Japan | Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm air in your room, please control yourself. |
| a bar in Normay | Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar. |
| a hotel in Russia | You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday. |
| an inn in Switzerland | Special Today - no ice cream. |
| an elevator in Belgrade | To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order. |
| a Russian chess book | A lot of water had been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played. |
| a shop in Majorca | English well talking. |
| the same shop | Here speeching American. |