James Hoskin's

These are genuine answers given when people are tested on the highway code.

• Q. Do you give way when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
  A. What for? He can't see my number plate.
• Q. What are the important safety tips to remember when backing your car?
  A. Always wear a condom.
• Q. When driving through fog, what should you use?
  A. Your car.
• Q. How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
  A. Be too shit-faced to find your keys.
• Q. What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
  A. I'd be forced to drive unlawfully.
• Q. What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
  A. Carry loaded weapons.
• Q. What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
  A. The colour.
• Q. Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
  A. The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do"
• Q. What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
  A. Make eye contact and wave "Hello" if they are cute.