James Hoskin's

Next time you want to flame someone in a newsgroup, just paste a copy of this into your message. Don't forget to fill in the appropriate places [_] with a 'X' like this [X]

Attention:
[_] Cretin
[_] Kook
[_] Fanatic
[_] Pervert
[_] Me too'er
[_] Troll
[_] Nerd
[_] Fed
[_] Spammer
[_] Clueless newbie
[_] AOLer/Web TV Subscriber
[_] Anonymous remailer

You are being flamed because:
[_] You answered:
[_] You endorsed:
[_] You invited:
[_] You posted:

[_] A request for Warez/porn
[_] An advertisement for Warez/porn
[_] A strawman
[_] A binary file in a non-binary group
[_] Religious/racial bigotry
[_] Childish name-calling
[_] Make Money Fast!
[_] In all caps
[_] With too many exclamation marks
[_] In HTML
[_] In a patronizing tone:
- [_] Which was unearned
- [_] Which was laughable
[_] An insulting comment
[_] A childish comment

Further, your post:
[_] Was poorly spelled
[_] Was of excessive length
[_] Contained nothing which has not been done before:
[_] And better
[_] Tried to be funny
[_] Tried to be erudite
[_] Contained [number] words which does/do not exist

You:
[_] Have failed to understand the subject of discussion
[_] Have failed to understand the purpose of the group
[_] Have failed to understand the purpose of news groups
[_] Quite simply, fail to understand.
[_] Are not funny OR clever
[_] Are too young/retarded to be posting to news groups
[_] Are desperate for attention
[_] Suck

It is recommended that you:
[_] F.O.A.D.
[_] Be the guest of honour in alt.flame for a month.
[_] Take your post and:
- [_] Eat it
- [_] Stick it where the sun don't shine
- [_] Sell it for use as fertilizer
[_] Get a life.
[_] Get a clue.
[_] Leave the discussion
[_] Leave the newsgroup
[_] Leave the net
[_] Leave the planet

Come back when:
[_] You can be civil
[_] You can write coherently
[_] Hell freezes over
[_] You have grown up
[_] You evolve