James Hoskin's

genuine resume quotes

The following are genuine quotes taken from covering letters and resume's/CV's

I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheet progroms.
Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.
Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.
Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.
Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.
Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.
It's best for employers that I not work with people.
Let's meet, so you can 'ooh' and 'aah' over my experience.
I was working for my mom until she decided to move.
Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments.
I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.
I am loyal to my employer at all costs... Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail.
My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in Meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.
I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.
Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.
Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.
Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job.
Marital status: often. Children: various.
The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.
Finished eighth in my class of ten.
References: none. I've left a path of destruction behind me.

The following are genuine quotes taken from performance evaluations

Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
I would not allow this employee to breed.
This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be.
This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.
He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

comments, broken links, suggestions?

		James Hoskin's genuine resume quotes

		The following are genuine quotes taken from covering letters and resume's/CV's I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheet progroms. Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details. Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year. Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions. Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave. Failed bar exam with relatively high grades. It's best for employers that I not work with people. Let's meet, so you can 'ooh' and 'aah' over my experience. I was working for my mom until she decided to move. Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments. I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse. I am loyal to my employer at all costs... Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail. My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in Meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage. I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant. Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far. Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store. Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job. Marital status: often. Children: various. The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers. Finished eighth in my class of ten. References: none. I've left a path of destruction behind me. The following are genuine quotes taken from performance evaluations Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig. I would not allow this employee to breed. This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be. This young lady has delusions of adequacy. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap. When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there. He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

comments, broken links, suggestions?